CVAB Voices


	Welcome to CVAB Community Voices

We invite members of our community to create, to write, to express themselves. The material found here was originally published in The Voice, CVAB’s monthly newsletter. We republish them here because they bear rereading. We are proud of each person’s contribution and greatly appreciate him or her sharing a piece of themselves. Please respect each contribution and contributor as you listen to their voice.


	You Belong by Bill September 2006

	I sit here by myself thinking, where do I fit in? am I misfit? am I a loner? Then I remind myself that a group of misfits are not alone. A tiny piece of puzzle in the wrong box is still colorful. I do not wish to judge, your past behavior does not define who you are now. Growth is gradual and my eyes have been open to new ideas and thinking. Shed off your old self to reveal the butterfly inside. Belonging is part of our Humanity, there are tribes, clans and support groups. God has provided for me as well, and I still worry. I am grateful for my support and faith which has kept me alive. Be optimistic about life and love and don’t take life too seriously.


		Good and Bad by Bill October 2006

	I often struggle with whether I am a good person, I think about my past and the mistakes I have made and worry about my future. I think everyone has something they wish they had not done that they could do over. In the 12 Step program it says not to regret the past or wish to shut the door on it. I have learned from my past, and desire to get on with my life, and maybe I can help others with similar problems. In the courts they focus on what you have done wrong, and were no help when I could have used it. I paid my debt, done my time, but the felony has haunted me for years. I would like to move on and help others and show I am useful. I don’t know if I will ever work, and it isn’t important if I get money, I am happy with the money I get. I desire to commit my time and effort to helping people like me to get their lives back on track. If I could take back anything in my past it would be my self-centered approach to life, not thinking about how others think and feel. Right now I know I am right on track and hope to carry the message of recovery and to inspire others to help themselves.


	Kessler’s Kolumn by Nicholas October 2006


	Read Nick’s Kolumns

Dreams-Nicholas When you “enroll” at a mental health services provider, they fail to tell you several tips to survival. Forgive me if I sound like a martyr by writing this letter, but I’m going to share some things you need to know:

1. While medications may do things like keep voices, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts out of the picture, the best help you can get is from acquaintances, friends, and family.

2. You should try to distract yourself from your illness on a regular basis. I think that the “Build Positive Experiences” skill is one of the best suggestions DBT can offer in the long run. The rest are good too—just don’t spend too much time in your head trying to figure things out.

3. Have dreams and aspirations. If you don’t have any goals in the long run, your life won’t mean much in the short run.

4. Remember: “Life isn’t a game you can win, you can only play.” Life is never perfect—neither is your mood, your mindset, your friends, or your meds.


		I often question life itself, what is it all about? Everyone makes their own choices and lifestyle. Everyone makes those choices in their own way. Other people may not like those choices and may criticize or pass judgment. I wonder why people make these comments, whether it hurts someone feelings or not. A lot of times we never know the person or what situations they have been in. Usually people who offer judgment or criticism do not feel good about themselves. They want to hurt someone to make their own self feel good. I personally don’t want to be this way. There is an old saying, “Never criticize or pass judgment until you have walked in someone else’s shoes.”Ω

	Recovery, Empowerment, Self-Advocacy by Kay November 2006


	Judgment and Criticism by Carolyn November 2006

So what is the Recovery buzz all about? The good news is there really is no wrong answer. Everyone’s Recovery is very personal. We develop, work towards, and achieve our goals at different rates, and making mistakes is all part of growth. Wow, that is so awesome, and so different from my raising. Special-Kay

I can remember being in school and because I had a unique to public school way of learning I was immediately place in a “special” class room. I didn’t have a voice back then, but I have found my voice now. I have come to believe that I am special and special isn’t an awful word.

I remember when I was asked a question about what color I liked. I knew what colors my family liked but I had no idea what I liked. Then someone asked me what I liked to do for fun. Wow that was quite a question; one that took me quite awhile to answer. I had to learn who I was to answer that question.

I have had a great time here at CVAB, learning about myself, and learning to have friends, and to be a friend. Learning to be a part of a great community, one where we are all on our own journey towards life.


	Worry by Bill December 2006

I have heard that worry is a type of meditating, being fixated on a problem and concentrating on it without finding a solution. I have been stuck on my past, and thinking about what might happen, all of it I can’t control. My error in the process is not letting go of things I can’t control. Most people complain about the weather and there is nothing that can be done about it; unless I stay inside all the time, I will be affected by the weather.

I want to be the master of my destiny, the one in control of things, people and places. I want to be the director of the play called life when I am only the actor who fumbles along thinking I have control of the world, thinking that being self-sufficient is the way to run my life. The way to overcome my flawed thinking is to surrender my will and my life to my Higher Power and let Him/Her do what I can’t do for myself. I have a lot to let go of still to become one with my Higher Power, and wish it were easy, but if it were easy everyone would be doing it.


	Following Through by Bill April 2007

	I have been told that there is no such thing as failing in life. I have left things uncompleted in the past. That does not equal failure. I have done things which I would lie to undo, by seeking God’s grace and forgiveness I can move on. My experience is a tool I can use to guide others who are going through tough times. I think that I have things to follow through that I have been avoiding. By avoiding them I have stayed stagnant in my growth. Life isn’t easy, but the alternative to life is to give up and lose hope. I have made some small changes and continue to learn how to help myself.

			Living a Fulfilling Life by Karen April 2007

	Life is a wonderful experience! You will make decisions that will affect your day. Beginning with just getting out of bed can be a great start to a glorious day. Making just three reasonable goals to achieve in a day is setting you up for success. Even if you only get one done in the whole day you have accomplished a great deal. I have found having a regular routine each day opens up the opportunity to fulfill and finish small goals. Seeing the beginning, middle and end of a project is an awesome feeling. There are days that one project seems too much, so I take a break and go on to a smaller project making sure that I go back and finish the first project, that way I didn’t fail. Mind you I use the word project because it isn’t a “chore” or a “job.” For me it creates a mind set of positive attitude of I did not and will not fail in any thing I do.

...and more to come.

artwork by brad

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